Tokyo, I Love You. OK, Not Really…
I’ll be honest — it would be a lot easier to write about a bad day in Tokyo than a good one.
After two years, The Big T and I aren’t exactly on the best of terms. If we were roommates, I don’t think we’d be speaking to each other right now. We probably wouldn’t even be taking each other’s phone messages.
Aah, Tokyo.
How you never fail to disappoint.
Your rent is expensive, your citizens rude, your public transportation packed with Kobolds wielding +1 Briefcases of Smacking Me on the Way Out. You are brash and abrasive, modern and yet painfully low-tech — my Suica card can pay for my train fare, bus fare, and a beer at the convenience store when I can’t take any more of your fuckery, yet the neighbors down the street keep their dingy washing machine connected to a garden hose outside their apartment.
And as for hospitality, your former Minister of Land，Infrastructure，Transport and Tourism resigned after claiming that Japan was ethnically homogeneous and its people didn’t like foreigners. Yes, this was the guy in charge of tourism.
Frankly, it gives me a sense of pleasure to see us turning the tide on you, Tokyo; to see this outmoded sakoku mentality turned on its head. I work in an area with a high concentration of foreign laborers, and like members of Project Mayhem, we have infiltrated your offices, your restaurants, your convenience stores… All your Lawson are belong to us.
Aah, Tokyo.
It may come as a shock, but even a rampant complainer like me has been able to make friends here. Yet Tokyo is such a sprawl, such a loose confederate of isolated pocket cities that the simple act of meeting up requires an insulting amount of phoning and planning and text messaging. Because God forbid we should, you know, be located less than an hour and a half and three transfers away and actually able to drop by one another’s houses.
Put simply: Tokyo, you kind of suck.
And yet…
Your people, while rude as hell, don’t stare at me like I have a third arm growing out of my head. On most days, vendors assume I actually can speak Japanese rather than I can’t. If I’m in the mood for salsa, tortillas and refried beans — which would have entailed a 45-minute train ride, or been completely unavailable, in my previous haunts — all it takes is a short bike ride down the street. Your liquor stores let me buy some of my favorite beers, off-the-wall brews from England and Belgium and Ceylon that would be impossible to find in my hometown back in the U.S. Yet here they are, just a short walk away.
On most days, Tokyo, you royally piss me off.
But sometimes, when I’m taking a walk around the back alleys of Azabu, or having a beer and soaking in the laid-back, retro feel of Yurakucho… Sometimes when I’m meeting up with friends and making new ones at a wonderfully craptastic bar in Ikebukuro… Sometimes when I’m in Roppongi and an apparently homeless fellow walking down the street and smacking bushes with a long stick turns to me and in extremely well accented English says, “Hi, how are you?” …
Sometimes Tokyo, in spite of your best efforts, I find myself liking you.
If only people would stop throwing themselves in front of the trains.
This post was submitted by john turningpin
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Tokyo is not that bad. Hell, at times Tokyo even gets under my skin and I am a very easygoing person. I have found that in Tokyo you have to find your balance. You have to find something that gives you a simple pleasure which you can do whenever you want.
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This all seems foreign to me. I have never lived in Tokyo, but have visited several (7) times and haven’t seen Tokyo like this. Is it only something that you started observing once you lived there?
To be fair, I’ve only been on the trains at rush hour a few times, and don’t know what a Japanese work environment is like (I assume it’s very corporate).
And I have heard about the attitudes towards foreigners - basically that you’re like a novelty - the Japanese people love to talk to you and be somewhat casual friends with you - but you’ll never be a true friend. Is that something you experienced?
I can say, that as a white male, I’ve gotten a few rude looks from very old Japanese people (mostly men), but in general I was blown away by how friendly and helpful most others (especially young people) were. I have traveled to many countries and Japanese people are BY FAR the most willing to help. When going out at night, both guys and girls are incredibly friendly - I do kind of get the sense that I was a novelty, but when guys are coming up to me, asking if it’s ok if they introduce me to their female friends, I’m hardly complaining
I’ve been able to meet up with friends very easily, and the trains and subways are amazing (if only they ran all night). Most cab drivers, waiters, and shop employees are incredibly nice, and honestly their faces would light up when I would speak my (horribly broken and beginner level) Japanese.
So my question for you: is my enchantment with the city (and country) only because I’ve only been a tourist? Does that go away once you live there and observe more? Very interested to hear your (and any other) repsonses, as a move to Tokyo is something I may seriously consider within the next couple years.
Thanks.
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Imagine spending the weekends with your girlfriend and everything is great; it’s not until you actually start living together that all the personality conflicts and things you’d never known about come to the fore.
Staying for a visit in Tokyo, or even seven visits, and dealing with reality of day-to-day life here are two very different beasts.
As for the friendliness of Japanese people, look no further than Billy’s comment — Japanese people are generally quite friendly on a personal level, i.e., once you’ve actually engaged them. Up until that point, especially in Tokyo, the rule of the day is “every person for himself,” and in my experience, the folks here tend to carry that to some pretty rude and, yes, cold (to reference your other post) extremes. Have you been anywhere other than Tokyo? You might be able to more clearly see the difference in attitude here, which can be striking. (Excluding, of course, those working in the service industry, but that’s an entirely different matter altogether — it’s their job to be polite.)
Regarding the Japanese work environment, ever seen Office Space? It’s like that, but with pointless, drawn-out meetings and even more pointless overtime.
The Japanese attitude toward foreigners and the “novelty” factor thing requires some pretty broad generalization, so with that in mind, here’s my take: I think you’re a lot more likely to encounter people who’ll want to hang out for the novelty and/or English
factor (”Look, I’m with a foreigner/speaking English!”) if you speak little or no Japanese. I don’t fit that profile, so if I’m going to hang out with a Japanese person — or with any person, for that matter — it will be because we like each other and we want to hang out, simple as that. I’ve made plenty of Japanese friends that would call me up, and vice versa, to hang out because we *could* hang out and just talk normally without it being “teach the white guy Japanese night” or “teach me English” night.
As for “true friends,” I don’t think nationality has anything to do with it: You could have a gaggle of friends, but only one or two you’d trust with your secrets, or knew you could count on when it mattered. I’ve had a couple of those that have been Japanese, for what it matters.
Regarding meeting up with friends very easily, Tokyo’s a big place. It all depends on where you live.
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Another lovely post from you, John. You capture your love-hate, push-me pull-you affair with Tokyo beautifully. Careful saying things like “Kobolds wielding +1 Briefcases of Smacking Me on the Way Out” though - you let us know that you are “one of us” - or was that your intent
?
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I’m glad you enjoyed it. And heck, I mentioned the Monster Manual on my blog a couple posts ago — I can’t “out” myself much more than that!
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I find it hard to believe that Tokyoites are more rude than Los Angelenos. Especially just driving around Los Angeles makes me realize how rude people are in LA.
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I grew up in and around LA myself and will agree that Angelinos can be aggressively rude at times. But, in my experience, it was always in short bursts here and there. The biggest problem with LA is wondering when someone’s going to open fire when you’re in the wrong spot. Sad, but true.
Tokyoites are different kind of rude, however. The most annoying behavior being the whole “if-I-don’t-know-you-you’re-not-really-human-then-are-you?” thing. This is why people push each other, crash into each other, cut each other off, etc… in public spaces. For people from countries where knocking into somebody without an apology (especially if the offender was quite aggressive in his/her action) gets you punched out (and in extreme cases killed), it’s kind of hard to accept.
But, the pushing/bumping/cutting-off is socially “acceptable” behavior to some degree here in Tokyo and hopefully most of us aren’t going around punching people out, even if we’d like to. We just write blog rants
Good enough medicine for me, anyway.
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Tornadoes28, sorry to ask this, but have you even been to Tokyo?
No, I didn’t think so.
Great post, JT, I couldn’t have said it better! Sometimes I walk around Tokyo and I’m like, I can do this, it’s not that bad, and then sometimes I feel like breaking someone’s neck. When I say “sometimes” I really mean about five times a day, usually when I’m on or around the JR line.
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Please dont break my neck if I’m around. But then again, I always am biking in Tokyo on the muggy streets, so I wont run into you.
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It was great to read an article that points out Tokyo’s true nature, and that vanquishes myths people have about this city. I often think exactly the same, especially on these two points: 1, that people in Tokyo are rude, and 2, this is a very low-tech city with a few bells and whistles that are mostly useless.
I’ve tried using my Japanese credit card more lately, to get points and to carry less cash, but I soon realized that unless I’m in a department store, it’s almost useless. Over the course of the past month I’ve been two a hotel that doesn’t accept credit cards, a gas station, and even my local Marusho grocery store.
I’ve been living in Tokyo for 5.5 years uninterrupted. I know the nice things that happen every now and then that make you feel like it’s cool to live in Asia, and cool to be in Tokyo in particular, but those things get less and less frequent as time goes on I feel.
Hence, I’ll be leaving early next year.
My recommendation to anyone, unless you can read and write Japanese, and unless you don’t mind becoming like a Japanese person, then don’t spend a day over two years in Tokyo. Seriously, don’t.
Why two years? That’s enough to see everything twice, like two sakura seasons, etc. Just in case you miss something one year, you can see it the next. And the other reason, most apartment leases are two years, and you do not want to have to pay the landlord upwards of ¥200,000 like I did just for the privilege of signing another lease!
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“My recommendation to anyone, unless you can read and write Japanese, and unless you don’t mind becoming like a Japanese person, then don’t spend a day over two years in Tokyo. Seriously, don’t.”
Why else would you choose to live there?
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My only current gripes about Tokyo:
-The trains stop way too early. My ideal night ends around 2, but here I go home at either 11pm, or 6am.
-The price. Most of it’s due to Japan’s fascist, keiretsu economy; when you look at the numbers, there’s plenty of livable land to go around here, and consumer goods prices have no relation to market prices.
-Bike grannies on the sidewalk, expecting you to clear a path for them. I want to smack ‘em with my 傘.
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My first trip to Tokyo was just last week from Monday through Wednesday and while I only noticed a few really rude people (the taxi drivers were definitely brusque to say the least) I noticed that the only people who made eye contact or were open to help us were those who were paid to do so - the staff at the hotel for example. In Nagoya, I have had just normal citizens stop to help when they see me looking at a map or chat at the supermarket and stiltedly ask me what I’m going to do with some japanese or western ingredient that I’m holding. It didn’t feel overly rude in Tokyo, just… cold and fast like everyone was just too busy and, frankly, unhappy. People smile much more in Nagoya (there are a LOT less gaijin, too I hadn’t seen so many white faces for months!)
If you are tired of Tokyo but didn’t like the spotlight of a small town, I highly recommend Nagoya - it is big enough (4Mil) to be a real city with all the city mod-cons but not so big that you don’t nod politely and smile and get the same in return as you step slightly to the side to go past someone or offer your seat to an elder (unless the other person is a mid forties salaryman - they seem really arrogant and treat everyone badly.)
Of course, I did have a raging fever for most of the three days so perhaps that was the source of my “cold” sensation and the reason people were more likely to avoid us than offer help.
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Hmm…I don’t know - I’ve experienced the same friendliness in Tokyo as I have in other cities (and in the country). I once had a guy walk around with us in Tokyo for nearly a half hour to help us find a public computer with internet.
I guess I’ll admit that people might be more likely to help you without you asking for it when in a smaller city, but that’s hardly surprising.
I’d say the same about New York actually - we are very happy to help if asked (there’s even a joke about how New Yorkers love to “show off” their knowledge of the city by giving others directions) - but I don’t think I’d ever ask anyone if they needed help just if they looked like it, unless they were obviously in a lot of distress.
I guess I agree that Tokyo moves fast - but disagree that it’s cold. I mean, what do you realistically expect? Strangers constantly striking up conversations with you? That would just seem odd to me - but then again, I’m from New York
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I enjoyed this post and the comments quite a bit.
I have experienced the love-hate thing from time to time. The latter usually strikes when I am tired or have just had a bad day but then I suspect that this could/would happen anywhere I lived.
Like Tokyo Cowgirl I find the ‘hate’ feelings tend to be enhanced as my proximity to any train station or crowded area is increased.
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“…yet the neighbors down the street keep their dingy washing machine connected to a garden hose outside their apartment.”
You know, it’s funny… sometimes when in Tokyo, I find myself in areas where I take a look around and think, Damn, this looks like some of the images I’ve conjured up of third-world countries.
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I find it amusing that on the JR lines, there are no smoking times, and a soothing female voice tells you that the smoking ban is between 7am and 9am. But I have yet to hear the announcement that kindly requests that people refrain from jumping under the train in that same time frame. Last Friday it took me two hours to get to work because somebody decided to have a good look at the bottom of a Yamanote carriage at Shinagawa Station.
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Project Mayhem LOL That’s funny…I like your voice and atmosphere, john. I live in Yokohama though… And Yoko will drive you Loco
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Riding the yamanote rain line is one of the pleasures in my life. I am on the train for more than 30 minutes because my home and work are on the exact opposite ends of the loop. I once considered leaving Japan for the USA, but was brought to tears considering missing the many daily dramas on the Yamanote train. That doesn’t mean I don’t get pissed when someone pushes their briefcase up between my legs or rams it into my shins. That why us women carry such big bags to defend ourselves and keep to force a distance between ourselves and overly intimate encounteres on the trains.
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Non-Aggressive White European Male.
To be honest, I’ve only been lving in Tokyo a few months - and i pretty much hate it - all the people i know in tokyo are scattered around - it takes an hour and a half to actually meet up with anyone, not to mention 3 bilingual phonecalls and enough texts to put Tolstoy to shame.Sometimes when I’m in the big famous districts i forget it all for a while - i would never normally wish to go to Akihabara, but this weekend i got myself lost in it, and was objectively fascinated for an afternoon. it reminded me why i came to japan in the first place. But as soon as you get away from the main areas, you’re in this endless, soulless suburban maze of nothingness.
One thing i find really hard is that if you take ten tokyo people, and tell them one thing - they will all react in EXACTLY the same way. I’m sorry if this sounds racist, but its true. How can you possibly get to know people if they only want to be exactly like everyone else? Talking of racism, a japanese person in my country would have the exact same rights that i do. Here i was refused from two gyms because i am white. There is no other G8 country where that sort of thing would be tolerated.
Jon said “”"And I have heard about the attitudes towards foreigners - basically that you’re like a novelty - the Japanese people love to talk to you and be somewhat casual friends with you - but you’ll never be a true friend. Is that something you experienced?”"
Yes. As my japanese improved, the less japanese people wanted to talk to me! I’m not trying to make some boast here, but i can get on with just about anyone (when I’m not bitching on the internet) Hell, my boarding-school nickname was “Cuddles” because i always tried to resolve disputes between my fellow boarders. (trust me, thats not a name you want aged 17 trying to make the local rugby team) But here in japan, it seems that the people, rather like the city itself, is just glitz and glam on the surface, but nothing solid underneath. Does everyone in my school greet me with a friendly “Herro! Good Morning Ohayo!” - Absolutely! When i see a friend who’s obviously in a mess, and i ask him what’s up, can i do anything to help? what is the response - things like “maths is so difficult” - “yesterday my bicycle broke” or the perrenial “ehhh nemuikara” (oh, it’s just because i’m just tired). You just can’t get to know them properly. Even people i’ve known for more than two years - one even calls me his best friend - will not really say anything about themselves, how they feel, even their opinions.
I’ve heard the rest of Japan isn’t quite so bad as tokyo, so i’m gonna leave for somewhere more rural soon, before i jump in front of the yamanote line train. If that doesn’t work out, i’ll just return to the normal world. To be honest i just feel there is something unnatural about japan (or at least tokyo).
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I think I had never read an impression towards Tokyo like this of yours.
Because I always felt attracted by japanese culture, it was a bit like a cold shower. Although I know people who lived there and liked it, your post makes me wonder. Of course there is a lot of subjectivity in any appreciation but I may conclude that where I see smoke surely there is fire. My hope is that is a Tokyo characteristic and could be different in other japanese cities.
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I read this well-written post, and half the comments, against my better judgement. Halfway through the comments I’d had enough. Stop complaining, people! Stop acting like Tokyo is somehow worse than other places. Tornadoes says the people are far worse in LA- and some person suggests he doesn’t know what he’s talking about? Don’t be ridiculous. Life here is the cushiest you’ve ever had. Dammit. Stop whingeing! And if you don’t like it, quit being pathetic and crying impotently and just get the hell out.
Like a bunch of babies crying. It’s a big city. You think New Yorkers give a crap about strangers? Check out Kitty Genovese. Because people don’t smile at you on the train or brush past you- are you serious?
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